Little Asian Vs. The Piñata

Little Asian has not had the luck to have been around many piñatas in her life. Maybe it's being Asian. We don't deal with piñatas. I don't know why because they are fun little things, but at a party, we don't have decorative animals that hang from a ceiling and jiggle candy inside.

In Long Island this weekend at a party, Little Asian faced her first Piñata . When the task was posed to me, "Little Asian, you must face the piñata ," I didn't know what to make of it. It was a horse like animal with pretty colors decorating it. It seemed harmless enough. Why would I want to blugoen it to death?

But as people kept urging me to take a swing -- I have never fared well in the face of peer pressure (which is really how I became The Drunk Little Asian) -- I couldn't say no. But I couldn't do this without a drink. I quickly made myself a light vodka soda with lemon and drank it. After watching several people face the Piñata (which wasn't being hung from a ceiling, but held up precariously by two partygoers who were bobbing it up and down in the air), I studied the strategy in which people seemed to broach the Piñata. Blindfolded, the partygoers seemed a bit unsure, a little to frantic, and perhaps not violent enough. They seemed sacred of hitting anything too hard, even a nonliving rainbow looking horse. The Pinata was still in tact as if to say No one can break me.

But then the Piñata faced The Drunk Little Asian. As the blindfold was placed around me, I was spun around with a broomstick in my hands. I warned, "I will hit hard. Warn me if I'm aiming for someone's head." As I neared a partygoer's vulnerable skull, I was quickly pulled away and placed in the direction of the pinata. I could hear someone yell, "Hey, what's the point of spinning then?" Well, I personally am glad we didn't play by the rules. Or I would have gravely injured someone.

Finally, I blindly faced down the Piñata . People were yelling, "Go get it!" I didn't know where the hell "it" was so I started thrashing blindly until I heard my stick thrash. As people cheered, I just kept thrashing. But I wasn't detroying it. I could almost hear the Pinata taunt me, You won't break me, Little Asian.

I then heard someone say "Finish it!"It was like that moment in the Karate Kid when Daniel San's archenemy was told to demolish the last of Daniel San. Then Daniel San crane kicks that blond mother fucker to kingdom come. Call this my Daniel San moment. So I swung my stick in it's own sweet arc and hit that seemingly indestructible being with all my might. Finally, someone yelled, "That's it! You did it!"

I tore off the blindfold and there the Pinata lay, on the ground, completely beheaded. The adrenaline high, I raised my stick and speared the Pinata to death. Candy scattered all around.

It was like Christmas. I picked up a Snickers Bar. Hell, I haven't had a Snickers in years. It was my favorite candy when I was younger, around the time I first saw the Karate Kid.

So I devoured that Snickers, the aftertaste sweet in the aftermath of the vodka.

In Massachusetts, They Drink Beeeer

Well, Little Asian spent her weekend in Mass, visiting the sister in law up there. Much beer was talked about, drank and discussed. For a long time now, beer has been the new wine. Beer is much more than PBRs and Bud Lights we've been stupidly sloshing down our throats for years (mind you, Little Asian still likes how cheap those drinks are so she'll keep sloshing them back). It's interesting how we get older, that drinking transforms itself into the taste and complexity of what we're drinking. There's an art to creating such a taste and there's a world of people learning to appreciation that art.

Little Asian will never claim to be a drinking intellect, and she might get a tad cross eyed when the Husband drones on about Saisons. But Little Asian does appreciate the world of beer out there and she's up to trying anything from that world outside of her limited knowledge. So here's to exploring the more beer (within the means of Little Asian's wallet though).

New beers I like so far:
Ommegang Wiite

Prima Pils (Recommended by the sister in law)

Allagash White

Got a beer Little Asian might like? Suggest it my way.

The Ecomony Now Affects Even Drunk Little Asians

Well, it had to happen at some point. Here I was thinking, Life is pretty good. I have a job that can buy me drinks and I'm pretty lucky to have that job. Man, do I regret thinking that. It's when you think you're golden, that you jinx yourself. Well, wham, bam, Little Asian got hit 2009 economy style. I'm lucky. I still got a job for a little while, but come next year, Little Asian might be looking for another job to float the boat she drinks in. It's weeks like this that you're grateful for places with $2 Pabst Blue Ribbons. And if you readers out there know of any places with similar cheap drinks, throw them my way. Because as far as this Little Asian is concerned, that type of drinking is what she'll be consoling herself with for some time.

But let's rouse into the weekend with positive thoughts, it's still summer out here, and at the end of my work day, I'll go a-hunting for that Pabst and I'll be grateful for it.

Little Asian's Drunk Observation of the Week: The Bartender

In Little Asian's opinion, what can make or break your dining or bar experience is a bartender. This is what in Little Asian's mind constitutes a good bartender:

1. They are familiar with you -- if you have a regular haunt, a good bartender gets the etiquette of rewarding the regular drinker at their establishment. Or if you're new to a joint, they make you feel right at home. They don't have to know your name. Not every place is Cheers, but if they know your face, that's a nice plus. And come on, we know when people are familiar with each other's faces. The smile and the hello will be immediate and genuine.

2. They'll give you a buy back. Usually, every fourth drink will be free. Although really fancy smancy places don't do this -- and restaurants definitely don't. It's just the bars themselves.

3. They'll let you have a little taste of the unknown. If you're interested in a particular alcohol, don't know much about it, the bartender will be knowledgeable enough to fill in the gaps as well is be willing to give you a little taste before you commit to the drink.

4. They'll be quick and fast, without looking crazy. They won't make you wait a millenia for a drink and they'll also try to keep the nice facade going.

5. They don't bore you with "this is just my money job", I'm really an "artist" talk. They're a bartender and they know their alcohol. They know the deal, they know the scheme, they know you're there to talk drinking.

And when you do find a bartender like this, they're worth the notice. A particularly great bartender I noticed was over at Franny's, a lovely restaurant in Brooklyn. Her name is Vanessa and she was a superstar. Since it was a restaurant, there were no buy backs, but she was great: one of the fastest, most efficient barkeeps I've ever seen. She kept the orders going, knew her stuff, and never missed a bit. I'd recommend going to Franny's just to get the great service at the bar. And since that great bartender is so hard to find, you better enjoy them where you see them.

Little Asian's Drunk Observation of the Week

You know that great Bruce Springsteen song -- Girls in Their Summer Clothes? If you don't know it, shame on you. Download it. Listen to it. It's great.

Well, here's what I don't get. I know it's been a bit down and dreary in NY. I know it's been raining like God doesn't like us, but come on, chicas! It's summer in NY! So last night when I was out drinking sake all night, I see this lovely thin little Asian on the street with a nice, pretty summer dress and light sweater -- lovely outfit -- except for her LARGE CHUNKY WINTER LEATHER BOOTS! Why are you chicas out there wearing clunky leather boots with summer dresses? It looks weird! It is weird. And Little Asian is so bold to say -- not good drinking attire! Doesn't look sexy and I'm sure you get drunk enough, it'll make you trip all the more easier.

When Bruce said, "Girls in Their Summer Clothes...cool in the evening light...girls in their summer clothes pass me by..." he did not mean with leather boots.

Take a tip from the Drunk Little Asian and The Boss. Flip flop it, sandal it, but don't boot your feet while it's summer in the city.

Little Asian and Sake

Little Asian is lucky enough to have a stomach that speaks to her. Last night, out for sake and delicious ramen -- she has learned -- three shot sized glasses is a lot for a Little Asian. I know -- it's lame, isn't it? A Little Asian that can't take on a little sake. But that being said, Ippudo, a lovely little restaurant on 4th Ave between 9th and 10th gets Little Asian's double thumbs up for a night out. It has THE most delicious pork bun since the dawn of time. That coupled with sake is one tasty drinking night out. But sharing a large bottle of sake did take Little Asian's head for a whirl on the drunken merry go round.

After Ippudo, we checked out Song, a nice little digs on 2nd Ave between 6th and 7th. What impressed Little Asian were the GINORMOUS ccs of beer that they offer. I tasted an interesting Stawberry Rice Wine. I don't think it was my cup of tea, but work a once and a lifetime tasting.

To Trust or Not to Trust A Non Drinker?

Here's a question the Little Asian poses for you: How do you feel about hanging out with peeps that don't drink?

Among Little Asians friends, it's been a common saying, "I just don't trust people that don't drink." Little Asian counted herself amongst these people, but as I grow older, I do wonder what it is about drinking that equals trust.

I suppose it could be -- you trust people that are willing to get as shitfaced as you are. Or perhaps, it can be seen that if you drink, then it means you know how to party and have a good time.

Perhaps it has to do with judgement -- the live and let live aspect of drinking -- because friends that say, "Oh, man, she drinks like a cow" or the "Whoa, what an idiot that guy is for chugging like a demon" -- are they true friends?

Little Asian thinks that she'll always trust a person that can have a good time, that lets her have that good time, but also doesn't sit like a Mormon in the corner and damn you to hell for having a drink or two.