Little Asian Vs. The Piñata

Little Asian has not had the luck to have been around many piñatas in her life. Maybe it's being Asian. We don't deal with piñatas. I don't know why because they are fun little things, but at a party, we don't have decorative animals that hang from a ceiling and jiggle candy inside.

In Long Island this weekend at a party, Little Asian faced her first Piñata . When the task was posed to me, "Little Asian, you must face the piñata ," I didn't know what to make of it. It was a horse like animal with pretty colors decorating it. It seemed harmless enough. Why would I want to blugoen it to death?

But as people kept urging me to take a swing -- I have never fared well in the face of peer pressure (which is really how I became The Drunk Little Asian) -- I couldn't say no. But I couldn't do this without a drink. I quickly made myself a light vodka soda with lemon and drank it. After watching several people face the Piñata (which wasn't being hung from a ceiling, but held up precariously by two partygoers who were bobbing it up and down in the air), I studied the strategy in which people seemed to broach the Piñata. Blindfolded, the partygoers seemed a bit unsure, a little to frantic, and perhaps not violent enough. They seemed sacred of hitting anything too hard, even a nonliving rainbow looking horse. The Pinata was still in tact as if to say No one can break me.

But then the Piñata faced The Drunk Little Asian. As the blindfold was placed around me, I was spun around with a broomstick in my hands. I warned, "I will hit hard. Warn me if I'm aiming for someone's head." As I neared a partygoer's vulnerable skull, I was quickly pulled away and placed in the direction of the pinata. I could hear someone yell, "Hey, what's the point of spinning then?" Well, I personally am glad we didn't play by the rules. Or I would have gravely injured someone.

Finally, I blindly faced down the Piñata . People were yelling, "Go get it!" I didn't know where the hell "it" was so I started thrashing blindly until I heard my stick thrash. As people cheered, I just kept thrashing. But I wasn't detroying it. I could almost hear the Pinata taunt me, You won't break me, Little Asian.

I then heard someone say "Finish it!"It was like that moment in the Karate Kid when Daniel San's archenemy was told to demolish the last of Daniel San. Then Daniel San crane kicks that blond mother fucker to kingdom come. Call this my Daniel San moment. So I swung my stick in it's own sweet arc and hit that seemingly indestructible being with all my might. Finally, someone yelled, "That's it! You did it!"

I tore off the blindfold and there the Pinata lay, on the ground, completely beheaded. The adrenaline high, I raised my stick and speared the Pinata to death. Candy scattered all around.

It was like Christmas. I picked up a Snickers Bar. Hell, I haven't had a Snickers in years. It was my favorite candy when I was younger, around the time I first saw the Karate Kid.

So I devoured that Snickers, the aftertaste sweet in the aftermath of the vodka.

In Massachusetts, They Drink Beeeer

Well, Little Asian spent her weekend in Mass, visiting the sister in law up there. Much beer was talked about, drank and discussed. For a long time now, beer has been the new wine. Beer is much more than PBRs and Bud Lights we've been stupidly sloshing down our throats for years (mind you, Little Asian still likes how cheap those drinks are so she'll keep sloshing them back). It's interesting how we get older, that drinking transforms itself into the taste and complexity of what we're drinking. There's an art to creating such a taste and there's a world of people learning to appreciation that art.

Little Asian will never claim to be a drinking intellect, and she might get a tad cross eyed when the Husband drones on about Saisons. But Little Asian does appreciate the world of beer out there and she's up to trying anything from that world outside of her limited knowledge. So here's to exploring the more beer (within the means of Little Asian's wallet though).

New beers I like so far:
Ommegang Wiite

Prima Pils (Recommended by the sister in law)

Allagash White

Got a beer Little Asian might like? Suggest it my way.

The Ecomony Now Affects Even Drunk Little Asians

Well, it had to happen at some point. Here I was thinking, Life is pretty good. I have a job that can buy me drinks and I'm pretty lucky to have that job. Man, do I regret thinking that. It's when you think you're golden, that you jinx yourself. Well, wham, bam, Little Asian got hit 2009 economy style. I'm lucky. I still got a job for a little while, but come next year, Little Asian might be looking for another job to float the boat she drinks in. It's weeks like this that you're grateful for places with $2 Pabst Blue Ribbons. And if you readers out there know of any places with similar cheap drinks, throw them my way. Because as far as this Little Asian is concerned, that type of drinking is what she'll be consoling herself with for some time.

But let's rouse into the weekend with positive thoughts, it's still summer out here, and at the end of my work day, I'll go a-hunting for that Pabst and I'll be grateful for it.